faith, like light, should always be simple and unbending

2011-12-10T14:11:00.002-06:00

I think it's weird that a photographer would charge $3600 for a wedding but still have a basic blog on blogspot. At least customize a little.. not hard.

2011-07-05T12:17:00.001-05:00

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love."

2011-04-10T12:33:00.003-05:00

I would like to see my husband now, thank you.

facebook + family

2011-04-02T19:30:00.002-05:00

hahahah

2011-04-01T10:06:00.001-05:00

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning.”
— Catherine Aird

2011-03-31T16:08:00.002-05:00

Being in love is hard.
It's hard because you could get hurt.
It's hard because you can hurt the one you love.
It's hard because you're vulnerable.
It's hard because you will disagree sometimes, and it will hurt.
It's hard because things change whether or not you want them to.
Being in love is hard because you cannot choose to stop loving, even if you should.

Being in love is easy.
It's easy to be welcomed with hugs and kisses.
It's easy to kiss them back.
It's easy to be close and share all your secrets.
It's easy to love and be loved.
Nothing could be easier.
Nothing could be harder.

2011-01-18T23:13:00.004-06:00

I can't sleep. I'm so excited because I have a million ideas running through my head. Ideas that I intend on acting on. THIS WEEK. Because last year there were a lot of things I did.. and plenty of things I put off. Yes, I was busy planning a wedding and moving and working.. But now the wedding/moving/adjustment period is o v e r. It's time to focus on my life here in Chicago. It's time to focus that on the dreams I put off for a few months. (( Put off those dreams&plans for very good reasons, I might add. Being married is nothing short of pure BLISS.))

I cannot wait. I CANNOT wait!

Because growing, learning, searching, not finding, trying again, more searching, finding.. it's ALWAYS worth it.
Whenever you put your whole heart, your whole being into it you will n e v e r be disappointed.

2011-01-14T22:12:00.003-06:00

I want to be so much more than I am now.
SO. MUCH. MORE.

The best part is that I know it's possible. We were born with unlimited potential. UNLIMITED! I I can't think of anything more uplifting or inspiring. The truth that:
We can be whomever we wish to be.

All we need is desire, a will to work (hard), and faith in God.
That's it!

2011-01-06T00:26:00.002-06:00

This time last year I was writing down my goals for the year. Although I didn't write it down I made a decision that 2010 was going to be about me. I was going to focus on me and forget about dating.

And now I'm married.

Life is so funny.

What made 2010 Awesome?

2011-01-05T09:53:00.002-06:00

So glad you asked!

Not going back to Idaho and staying in Colorado
Shooting weddings in CA, CO, OK, NM
Going to San Francisco for the first time
WPPI in Las Vegas
Rock climbing
Legally Blonde: The Musical
Running my first 10k
P90X
Bon Jovi in concert
The old dog track
Discovering 24, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother
The Whitsitt Cabin
Moving to Chicago
Getting to live in a beautiful apartment in Chicago
Getting engaged!
Utah & Colorado bridal shower
Two wonderful Christmases
Getting MARRIED!!
Moving into our apartment. :)

2010 was amazing. I accomplished so much, spent time with people I live, and dated one boy who stole my heart forever.
2011, you have big shoes to fill!

2010-12-16T09:32:00.000-06:00

Stress is just fear. Fear that things won't get done.

Everything that needs to get done will be done.

And whatever isn't done won't matter.

The next week may be challenging. But-

When the road is difficult, the destination is that much sweeter.

2010-12-13T14:51:00.000-06:00

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
— Mary Oliver, The Uses of Sorrow

Facebook, Friends, Food, and Not Sleeping

2010-12-02T01:27:00.001-06:00

Facebook has made me hate people a little more. Probably because I could care less that you are frustrated with your major, your latest cooking creation was a disaster, or that your car is having troubles. Would a normal friend or acquaintance call me or even text me these useless updates about their life? No.

Unless your most recent status update is funny, interesting, informative, or relevant to me I am not interested. Those status updates begging for attention? Those ambiguous lyrics that I'm supposed to know? Your heart felt dedication to your boyfriend of 2 weeks? That's what blogging is for -- not Facebook.

You know, there are people I am friends with that I used to actually like in real life. Until we became friends on Facebook and I realized how annoying, self centered, emo, weird, [fill in the blank] they were.

Granted, not all my updates are important. But I'm also not updating my status every two minutes. More like once a week, if that.

Excuse my rant. I am currently super irritated with Facebook but even more irritated with my body that refuses to go to sleep.

I am also irritated that there isn't a Taco Bell closer to me right now.

Belated Thanksgiving Post

2010-12-01T13:36:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving was amazing. It was our first little Thanksgiving and I loved every second of it. Even the seconds where I was about to scream becauase I was frustrated with a recipe I had never used before. Even the seconds where I realized that I probably just gained a few pounds from eating so much. t was hard to be away from our families and our dogs but we got through it with plenty of phone calls. :)

Other memorable moments:
NOT working.
Watching even more Dexter.
Eating yummy food.
Both of us getting sick throughout the night because of all the yummy food we ate.
Staying in our pajama's for about 4 days straight.
Setting up our little Christmas tree and Christmas lights.
Finally listening to Christmas music.
Learning almost an entire semester worth of law school. (Which was actually very interesting. What I loved most was seeing Travis so excited just talking about what he's been learning.)
Going shopping on Black Friday after just about 3 hours of sleep and finding super cute clothes on sale!
Travis going to get me a Dr. Pepper (and mint M&M's!!!) even after I was a brat.
That same night, Travis bringing me the bowl of frosting I had made and not judging me when I used my fingers to eat out of it. (Yes.. Thanksgiving weekend was a bit out of control but we're back to eating normal again.)
Getting the last set of thumbs up to get married in the temple. :)

where she belongs.

2010-11-23T12:35:00.001-06:00

I'm really excited for Thanksgiving. Especially for Thanksgiving dinner. Cooking it, I mean.

All jokes aside, I love being in the kitchen. At the end of the day it's nice to have 30 minutes of quiet in the kitchen doing something I enjoy. It gives me quiet to to think, time to relax, time to enjoy the smell of fresh food..

So on Thanksgiving I get to spend an entire day just cooking. That's it!

I cannot, cannot wait.

Doesn't a set of all white dishes just make you swoon a little? Someday I would like a kitchen with white cabinets, white dishes, and a window so I can feel the breeze in the early morning and listen to the birds wish me good morning.

2010-11-22T14:28:00.000-06:00

Done with Season 2 of Dexter.

I LOVE it.

Maybe everyday should be Sunday

so I can dedicate hours on end to watching this show.

2010-11-20T12:21:00.000-06:00

I used to do it everynight. Sit on a chair by the window, open to a clean, fresh page and gently let the pen hit the paper. Thoughts, ideas, memories, dreams seemed to take life as words flowed onto each page. I looked forward to this special time each day where nothing really matter except for me and what I wanted to write. I never looked at clock. Sometimes an hour would pass and I wouldn't have even noticed. There were no deadlines, no limits, no interruptions, - just me, my journal, and a view of the city.

Not every entry is insightful or revealing but each is important. Important to me, it's single viewer. There is no audience that will review it, give it acceptance or approval. This nightly ritual is only meant to benefit me.

And now my journal lays untouched, unnoticed in a corner of the room. It sits there like an old friend waiting for me to pick it up and again and resume where we once were. It always does.

I need a blanket

2010-11-19T13:09:00.000-06:00

At this point I'm pretty sure I could fall sleep just about anywhere..

Mmmm...

Re: Last Night

2010-11-19T12:12:00.002-06:00

...it's true.

The real reason I like to take little kids to the zoo:

2010-11-19T12:02:00.000-06:00

Maybe one day an animal will eat them.

2010-11-17T12:58:00.003-06:00

Elephants have been known to die of broken hearts if a mate dies.

They refuse to eat and will lay down, shedding tears until they starve to death.

They refuse all human help.

2010-11-16T15:13:00.001-06:00

Perspective

2010-11-16T14:58:00.001-06:00

Recently I began thinking a lot about where I'm at and what I'm doing. I felt as if I was letting go of my dreams, my passions and instead doing work that I'm not thrilled about.

I'm a babysitter. It isn't my favorite thing to do but it's what allows me to live in Chicago and be close to the person I love. It allows to me nap, read, or watch hulu for a few hours each day. It gives me freedom to work without someone constantly supervising me. This job makes it possible for me to go home or travel when I need to. The families I work with are amazing. They text me wedding planning ideas or tips, let us borrow their car, help us with questions we have about the city, and let us know that they are here for me and Travis.

I may not love this job but it's a huge blessing and I'm grateful for it.

I may not be taking as many pictures but I'm still doing it. It isn't completely gone. My goals, my dreams have not dissappeared - they have simply been slowed down. And that's okay. It's okay that things aren't progressing as quickly as they used to.

I have a wonderful job, I still have opportunities to do what I really love (even if it isn't as often), I get to live in a beautiful city, I get to spend time with the person I love and will be with forever, we have our first home together, I have money for [good] food, and I'm healthy. When I look at it this way I don't really have a lot to complain or be unhappy about.

2010-11-16T13:15:00.000-06:00

2010-11-15T18:25:00.001-06:00

Facebook is great for all sorts of things!

Including your sister telling you that she won't be coming to your wedding next year:

(Note: This was posted just minutes after their engagement was posted online.)

If one of my brothers or sisters told me they couldn't attend my wedding via a facebook wall post -no matter the reason- I would be livid.

PICK UP AN EFFING TELEPHONE.

Can't sleep.

2010-11-15T01:27:00.000-06:00

Thoughts on Marriage

#1. A recent engagement of two friends (read: acquaintances) after a few weeks of dating.

As Mormons, we believe that marriage is eternal. Eternal meaning: not just this life but the next, celestial, forever, A BIG FREAKING DEAL! If we truly believe this to be true then shouldn't we take marriage a little more seriously? You cannot tell me that you take [temple] marriage seriously if you decide to marry someone after three weeks.

Instead of taking marriage seriously we instead emphasize how important it is to get married soon. The sooner the better! And if you feel it's right, don't ask questions! Just go for it!

What ever happened to getting to know the person?!?! NO, you cannot really know a person after a few weeks. Have you never heard of the '3 month twitch?' It takes at least three months for people to begin to relax, get comfortable, and start showing their true colors.

I DO NOT CARE if you have prayed about it. The first part of asking Heavenly Father about an important decision is doing your research before hand, correct? If you haven't dated for at least 12 weeks then you haven't done your research.

"Wait!" you say. You know someone and it worked for them! They dated for 2 weeks, got married 3 months later and they lived happily ever after! Oh puh-lease. You are looking at a marriage after 30, 40 years of work! It looks good but I can guarantee it took a lot of work to get there. Is this usually how things work out for these couples? No. Stop making the exception the rule. I can also guarantee that all of these couples would advise you to have a longer courtship.

I think you'll find way more stories about couples who got married and then discover that their partner was addicted to pornography or had major anger issues. Simply put, it's hard to discover dirty truths about people in short time frames. Even Mormons can lie and put on a good act when needed. (Take a breath and calm down. I know that was hard to hear.)

#2.

This girl has been wanting to get married since the day she stepped onto BYU's campus. Last year she made a bet with one of my roommates $200 that she wouldn't be engaged by Christmas. The premise being that my roommate would set her up with potential husband material with the $200 as incentive.
This facebook status update is about a boy she has been dating for a few weeks.

Why do girls go to BYU with their main goal being to get married? Our goal should be to get married in the temple when the time comes. We cannot put a time line on when we should get married. Instead we should set goals and begin discovering who we are, build a relationship with Christ, and try to become a better person.

Being married is important and who we marry is one of the single most important decisions ever. But that doesn't mean we cannot be happy unless we married. No one should feel they have failed because they are 25 and unmarried.

#3. If you're currently single, enjoy it! Go on dates and expect nothing to come out of it except a little fun and maybe a kiss. Enjoy being able to do what you want, when you want! Do not waste a minute worrying about getting married. Heavenly Father knows who are and know exactly what you need. Things will fall into place at exactly the right time.

#4. If you're dating someone, enjoy it! Don't rush things. Get to know the person you're with. Ignore what anyone tells you when it comes to getting married. Listen to your heart and to the Holy Ghost.

One of my favorite songs that sums it all up perfectly:

We're on the road to romance

- that's safe to say

But let's make all the stops along the way

The problem now of course is

To simply hold your horses
To rush would be a crime
'Cause nice and easy does it every time

To sum it all up: I think getting married is important and it's something you do when you love someone more than anything you've ever loved before despite everything you know about them. You can never know it all, but you definitely don't know nearly enough after a few weeks. You can be happy without a ring on your finger and you shouldn't expect an engagement to magically make things better.

Free

2010-11-13T12:25:00.000-06:00

The first 24 hours were rough. I wanted, craved, needed what was usually at my fingertips. But every time I reached to grab what I thought was there I was reminded that it was gone. Not missing. Gone. I took a deep breath and embraced my new reality.

I went to sleep still aching for what I had become so accustomed to. A daily ritual suddenly torn out of my life. As I woke up in the morning I reached for it again. I winced as if someone had suddenly ripped a band-aid off my arm, remembering that it wasn't just a dream.

The hours came and went. Soon it had been a few days. Then it became a week. My life had continued on, moving forward. For the first time I felt free. Free of an addiction I didn't even know was weighing me down.

My favorite time of day:

2010-11-10T12:33:00.003-06:00

2010-11-08T22:29:00.000-06:00

I would like a few days in the mountains to sit by the fireplace and paint, journal, read, hike, wear pajamas all day, sip endless amounts of warm apple cider and tea..

2010-11-08T18:55:00.000-06:00

Olbermann's "indefinite" suspension? Apparently indefinite = a few days.

A glimpse of my senior year of high school

2010-11-06T21:02:00.001-05:00

I'm babysitting 3 boys who are having a sleepover tonight. They don't really want me interferring with whatever they're doing so I'm up on the computer. I was going through old emails and I found an attendance report from my senior year of high school. Take a look:

Attendance Summary
Student's Name: Christensen, Tiffany Rebecca
Report created on Friday, May 19, 2006 at 8:58 AM
Course Hour Type of absence or tardy Date
------ ---- ---- -- ------- -- ----- ----

Singers 1st School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Finance 2nd School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Mon 05-15-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Thu 05-11-2006
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Wed 05-10-2006
Spotlight 6th Unexcused Absence Wed 05-10-2006
Finance 2nd Excused Absence Mon 05-08-2006
Finance 2nd Excused Absence Tue 05-02-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Thu 04-27-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Thu 04-27-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Finance 2nd School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Tue 04-25-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Finance 2nd School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Mon 04-24-2006
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Fri 04-21-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Finance 2nd School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Thu 04-20-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Tue 04-18-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Thu 04-13-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Thu 04-13-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Wed 04-12-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Wed 04-12-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Mon 04-10-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Thu 04-06-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Thu 04-06-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Tue 04-04-2006
Aerobics 4th School Absence Tue 04-04-2006
Finance 2nd Excused Absence Mon 04-03-2006
Commercial Art 3rd Excused Absence Mon 04-03-2006
Aerobics 4th Excused Absence Mon 04-03-2006
Commercial Art 3rd Unexcused Absence Fri 03-31-2006
Finance 2nd Excused Absence Thu 03-30-2006
Commercial Art 3rd School Absence Wed 03-29-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Mon 03-27-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Thu 03-23-2006
Singers 1st Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Finance 2nd Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Commercial Art 3rd Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Aerobics 4th Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Spotlight 6th Excused Absence Wed 03-22-2006
Singers 1st Excused Absence Tue 03-07-2006
Singers 1st Excused Absence Mon 03-06-2006
Management 2nd Excused Absence Mon 03-06-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Mon 03-06-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Thu 03-02-2006
Spotlight 6th Unexcused Tardy Wed 03-01-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Excused Absence Thu 02-23-2006
Spotlight 6th Excused Absence Wed 02-22-2006
Management 2nd Excused Absence Fri 02-17-2006
Basic Speech 3rd Excused Absence Fri 02-17-2006
American Government 4th Excused Absence Fri 02-17-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Thu 02-16-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Wed 02-15-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Tue 02-14-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Mon 02-13-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Wed 02-08-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Unexcused Absence Mon 02-06-2006
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Fri 02-03-2006
Pace Professional Ex 5th Unexcused Absence Thu 02-02-2006
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Thu 01-26-2006
Basic Speech 3rd Unexcused Absence Tue 01-24-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Fri 01-20-2006
Management 2nd School Absence Fri 01-20-2006
Basic Speech 3rd School Absence Fri 01-20-2006
American Government 4th School Absence Fri 01-20-2006
Spotlight 6th School Absence Fri 01-20-2006
Singers 1st School Absence Wed 01-18-2006
Spotlight 6th Excused Absence Wed 01-04-2006
Physics 3rd Unexcused Tardy Wed 12-21-2005
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Mon 12-19-2005
Physics 3rd Excused Absence Mon 12-19-2005
Physics 3rd Excused Tardy Thu 12-15-2005
Physics 3rd School Absence Wed 12-14-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd School Absence Mon 12-12-2005
Advanced Algebra W/T 4th Unexcused Absence Fri 12-09-2005
Spotlight 6th Unexcused Absence Wed 12-07-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd Unexcused Absence Thu 12-01-2005
Singers 1st School Absence Wed 11-30-2005
Spotlight 6th Unexcused Absence Wed 11-30-2005
Physics 3rd Excused Absence Mon 11-28-2005
Singers 1st School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Physics 3rd School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Advanced Algebra W/T 4th School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Pace Buddy's Prof/Co 5th School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Spotlight 6th School Absence Fri 11-18-2005
Physics 3rd School Absence Wed 11-09-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd Unexcused Absence Tue 11-08-2005
Singers 1st Unexcused Tardy Thu 11-03-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd Unexcused Absence Thu 11-03-2005
Singers 1st Unexcused Tardy Wed 11-02-2005
Advanced Algebra W/T 4th School Absence Wed 11-02-2005
Physics 3rd Unexcused Absence Tue 11-01-2005
Singers 1st School Absence Thu 10-27-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd School Absence Thu 10-27-2005
Physics 3rd School Absence Thu 10-27-2005
Advanced Algebra W/T 4th School Absence Thu 10-27-2005
Spotlight 6th School Absence Thu 10-27-2005
Singers 1st School Absence Wed 10-26-2005
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Wed 10-19-2005
Singers 1st Unexcused Absence Fri 10-14-2005
Musical Theatre Prod 4th ExcusedAbsence Wed 10-12-2005
Musical Theatre Prod 4th Excused Absence Tue 09-27-2005
Singers 1st Excused Absence Thu 09-08-2005
Journalism 1 RM 2nd Unexcused Absence Wed 08-31-2005

Oh dear.
I guess when you're in 2 choirs, play 2 sports, are in Student Council, and President of DECA/FBLA, you tend to miss school sometimes.

It's funny because as I looked over the list I realized that I had completely forgotten that I had taken some of those classes. Finance? Uh.. No recollection. Seriously. I don't think I learned anything. Management? I remember how we spent DAYS playing tetris seeing who could get the highest record. Commercial art? I remember playing in Illustrator sometimes but I mostly just remember car rides to the gas station with the boys. I do remember liking physics. Probably because I actually worked in that class. I remember the classes where I actually learned.. surprise, surprise!

I have no idea how I survived senior year, let alone high school.

A Secret

2010-11-02T22:46:00.000-05:00

Today was fantastic. For no real reason, it just was! I was walking around downtown and I smiled knowing that this would be my little secret for the day. I wasn't going to post it on facebook or tweet it.. or mention it to anyone. (Of course, here I am blogging it. But the day is almost over so it's okay. :) I was just really, really happy!

It started with a perfect morning. The weather on my way to work was just slightly chilly. For some reason my walk was a little quieter than normal.. traffic seemed to not roar past me. Other than that it was a pretty typical day. Typical but perfect in it's own way.

Between everything that's happening right now somehow joy still found a way into my heart.

I'm so grateful.

Thought of the Day

2010-11-01T22:42:00.000-05:00

Why do we work so hard to buy things we don't really need?

Yes, I work hard to pay rent and buy food. But usually I take on extra shifts... why?! So I can save money and still buy things that I could live without. Such as: movies, eating out, a new video game, a new candle, bottled water, a manicure... All of those things are so meaningless!!

I am trying to commit to buying less stupid stuff and maybe working a little less.

MMMMMM

2010-10-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

All I really want right now is to eat an entire bag (or two) of candy corn.

But I won't. Maybe another day.

p.s. I think it's weird when people tell you to indulge in candy or dessert by saying, "It's good for the soul!" That makes no sense at all.. Especially for Latter Day Saints. Don't we go without food (fasting) so we can draw closer to the spirit? I'm pretty sure our soul doesn't need food.. let alone dessert. And I'm also pretty sure that over eating or feeding ourselves bad foods is one way of abusing your body (temple) which can and will lead to you losing the spirit in your life. Okay, rant over.

I am still craving candy corn.

The end.

In my next life..

2010-10-26T15:35:00.000-05:00

My wedding invitation will look like this:

I'll wear a white summer dress, a bouquet of wildflowers, and we'll dance under the stars on a lazy summer afternoon.

A warm summer Texas breeze would caress our skin and laughter would be the soundtrack of our perfect evening.

...and once all the guests were gone we would jump into the lake and just be us beneath the moonlight.

It was be so easy, so carefree, so warm, so happy.

sigh.

The truth is I could get married anywhere. I could forget to order a bouquet. You could forget your tie. We could have our wedding pictures taken with polaroid cameras and eat waffles instead of cake and I would be happy. I would be happy as long as it was y.o.u.

I watch you leave...

2010-10-26T13:24:00.000-05:00

My fiance is in a difficult graduate program. Almost every minute of his day is consumed with reading, writing, studying, and classes. He’s so excited about it. Repeat: He’s so excited about it. He blogs about it. He updates his facebook status about it. He genuinley loves it and he wants to tell everyone about it.
..I wish he was this excited about me. About us.

When he leaves for school sometimes he kisses me goodbye. Sometimes he says bye. Most of the time I just watch him leave. And I wonder… will I ever captivate his heart the way this school has?

Today Was Great

2010-10-23T23:22:00.000-05:00

This weekend is great because...

I spent more time with my fiancé than the past few days combined.
Finished season 1 of How I Met Your Mother. Yes.
I actually cooked breakfast instead of just having toast this morning.
I got to take a hot bath while listening to my iPod and eating cherry yogurt. Perfect.
It wasn't too hot or too cold outside.
I got paid to eat, watch the office, play games, and blog.

EDIT: This weekend was pretty freaking awesome. The end.

Newsflash: McDonalds isn't healthy

2010-10-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

Recently this link has been shared by many of my facebook friends. You'll find it posted with titles like: "Disturbing."

"Why kids shouldn't eat happy meals."
"I'm never eating McDonalds again!"

Time for a reality check. Did you seriously not know how bad McDonald's was for you? Have you not read Fast Food Nation? Have you not heard about or seen Supersize Me? Even if you haven't, it's common knowledge that McDonald's is ridiculously unhealthy and fattening. I don't find it disturbing or surprising. What's disturbing is how many American's think McDonald's "isn't that bad." What's even more disturbing is how many people know that McDonald's is bad but they still eat it and feed it to their kids until they see an article like this. In which case, they stop going to McDonald's for maybe two weeks.

If you really want to see something crazy check out this video. Six months? Try six YEARS.

Two for Thursday

2010-10-07T16:27:00.000-05:00

Hello Blogger! I've missed you.

I've been up since 2am, 1am Colorado time. I don't know how I'm still awake.. Sometimes not needing sleep works to your advantage!

I was feeling sort of weird around lunch time.

Could it be that I hadn't ate enough within the past 24 hours?

Could it be that I hadn't slept enough?

Could it be the change in elevation?

All good questions!

My mom was looking concerned but I knew I just needed some lunch and I would be okay. Before we got our food I told her I was going to the bathroom.

"By yourself?"

Yes....

"Are you sure? I don't want you to pass out or anything!"

Hahaha. My mom is cute.

Stress + Tiffany = :'(

2010-10-07T16:12:00.000-05:00

Lately I've realized something: stress makes me emotional.

I'm sure somewhere out there someone is laughing and thinking, "Well, you've always been emotional!"

Au contraire.

I am typically not overly emotional. Maybe a tear here and there but not full out crying! As I deal with more stress I find myself crying more and more. (Guess what? Crying is one way your body naturally relieves stress.)

This past week while Travis and I were watching Glee I started to tear up and even let a few tears roll down my cheek. I didn't want Travis to notice that I was crying yet again.

Today I was watching the most recent Glee episode again with my sister and I cried at the same part again.

Ugh. I feel like such a girl.

What. The. Heck.

2010-10-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

So glad I no longer have to deal with this:

Found this picture here: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/dl8rk/official_rule_enforced_at_byu_idaho/

My favorite comment on that thread is this one:

Jesus had a beard AND wore open toed shoes. He had hair like a rockstar. Dude was a fashion pioneer because he always wore white after Labor Day and didn't apologize for it. Yet your religion continues to further justify the control of an individuals free agency as somehow moral and refelecting of "The Savior". You remember whose plan it was to deny an individual his free agency right?

I'll never understand BYU-Idaho. I'm grateful for the lessons I learned there and the people I met.... but I'm even more grateful that that time in my life is over.

2010-10-01T12:52:00.000-05:00

Tiffany's Babysitting Theory: It's not natural.

Yes, I admit it. I am not head over heels in l-o-v-e with babysitting. And maybe this is why:

Your body was programmed to love your child even if they pull your hair or throw up on you.
So is my body - it was designed to love my future children.
However, it isn't programmed to love and take care of children you barely have time for. I can try, but nothing can replace their mom.

Like I said, it's just not natural.

Edit: Perhaps it should be called the Nannying Theory. Because babysitting for a few hours here and there is tolerable and even enjoyable. AND everyone needs to get away from their kids at least once a week. Everyday? Not so much.

Someday..

2010-09-30T07:37:00.000-05:00

Someday I'll actually be able to go shopping on Michigan Avenue.. instead of just walking down it and wishfully looking at what's in all those windows..

Welcome Back to Crazy

2010-09-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get the craziest dreams. And not just one. Crazy dream streaks. Sort of awesome.. sort of weird. They disappeared for awhile but guess what? They are back now. I guess not sleeping enough + working long days + wedding planning + being an emotional girl is enough to provoke my subconscious into having crazy dreams.

For example, last nights dream:

I was somewhere with my family and I decided to snorkel and go cliff jumping at the same time. I was given specific instructions: jump into the water by the whale's head then them toward the big fin in back. (Hmm.. whales only fins in front but whatever.) I jumped and almost landed on the whale's head and made it to back fin. I began to snorkel and I was disappointed because I expected to see amazing fishes and colors but it was dull. Then I ended up in the gift shop and I stole a few things then somehow I killed someone. I don't remember actually murdering someone I just had the memory that it happened. They began searching everyone looking for the weapon/the things I stole. I'm panicking and trying to find a place to hide my things.

Now I find myself in my apartment in Chicago. I'm still trying to find a place to hide the items I stole/used to kill and I finally find a loose floorboard in my room. It leads to a basement that I never knew existed. I hid the items in the basement and no one could find them. I was freaking out because I really didn't want to get caught. And I didn't.

Like I said, crazy!!

If you just read through all that nonsense go ahead and pat yourself on the shoulder.

:)

2010-09-26T19:50:00.000-05:00

Today while we were registering for our wedding a sales lady looked at us and asked if she could helped us. We told her we were fine but thanked her for asking.

Then she said, "Why are you both so smily?"

She looked at our tag gun and then looked at us and said, "Oh, that's why. Congrats!'

Happy to be in love. And happy to pick out things we want people to buy us. Yep. Smiley.

This is how we looked... only better.

Bugs bug me.

2010-09-21T23:28:00.000-05:00

We were walking back to my place when I almost had a heart attack. I leapt into the air and gave a small yelp. I startled Travis and he looked at me to make sure I wasn't dying. He looked around and couldn't understand why I was so freaked out. In just seconds he went from worried to confused. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I point to the ground at an insect I hadn't seen in years.

The cockroach.

I can't explain why I am so terrified of those gross little bugs but I am. Yes, yes, I know they cannot hurt me but the thought of one touching me makes me want to scream and vomit all at the same time.

[I would post a picture here but I cannot bring myself to typing "cockroach" into google's image search.]

Drunk

2010-09-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

The other night I came home exhausted. So. Stinking. Tired. All I wanted to do was sleep but first I took my clothes off and hopped in the shower. I began to shampoo my hair when I realized something didn't feel right. I couldn't pinpoint what felt weird but then it hit me:

I still had my underclothes on.

Have you ever heard how when you're really tired you might as well be drunk? I'm starting to think that could be true..

2010-09-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

This morning was perfect for no reason. I wish I could go to the park with a box of fresh summer strawberries and do this. :)

Monday Musings

2010-09-13T19:05:00.000-05:00

Now that the most stressful part of wedding planning is over (booking a photographer, a venue, a florist?, and finding invitations) I am actually starting to enjoy wedding planning. In the heat of the moment in a previous post I might have been a tad over dramatic. Or a lot. The fact is that I was just overwhelmed!

I still don't have a wedding dress but I'm not stressing over it. I figure that things will fall into place when they should and I know that everything will eventually get done.

Part of the reason I have yet to decide on a dress is because it's the only things (besides photography) that I really, REALLY care about. This is because I need to look perfect. An unrealistic expectation, but an expectation none the less.

I might add that it is incredibly hard for me to choose a dress online without trying it on. It's sort of like online dating. They always look great online but they always turn out different in person. (Oh man, not that I've ever ventured into online dating. I'm just assuming that's what it's like... right? )

Right now Travis is studying and it's cute to see him so invested in school. Well... he's cute all the time but it's cute to watch him when he thinks no one is watching him.

I am currently chomping on carrots and radishes. At first I thought this might be annoying and possibly distracting to someone who is studying but then I remembered that Travis is good at tuning me out. How do I know this? From this recent conversation we had over dinner yesterday:

Me: Ugggh! I don't want it to be cold, or snowy, or icy! I apologize in advance if I complain about the cold all winter.

Travis: Don't worry I'll just tune you out. I'm pretty good at that.

Happy Monday!

Never, Never, EVER!

2010-09-12T15:18:00.000-05:00

Whenever I say I'll never do something I might as well be saying, "Yea! I'll definitely do that!" Because no matter how much I swear that I really will never do something it always ends up happening.

Examples:

I've never broken a bone. The next day I broke my nose.

I'll never let someone draw my blood ever again. Since then I've had multiple hospital visits.

I'll never move back to Colorado. Did that more than once.

I'll never go back to BYU. Kidding.

I'll never date someone in Colorado. Oops.

I'll never date him. I'll just marry him instead?

I'll never get married in the Denver temple. Oh look, less than 4 months until I do that.

Guess what else I'll never do?

I'll never be rich.

I'll never be successful.

I'll never live in a big beautiful house.

I'll never travel all around the world.

More!

2010-09-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

The little boy I babysit for is always saying: more! It's cute. Then when he's satisfied he will say: all done.

I'm blogging more simply because I have more time to do so and because I have things I want to say but no one to say them to.

I can no longer talk to Travis as often - he's in law school and is quite studious.

I can no longer trap my mom into listening to me. In fact, she usually forgets her cell phone making it hard to reach her.

My friends are busy back at school studying and working and the two year old I hang out with during the day is far more interested in making messes than anything I have to say.

So dear Internet, that leaves you. You get to hear the things that are going through my mind.
Get ready for more! blog posts.

Living With A Law Student

2010-09-09T21:18:00.000-05:00

Today Travis had just begun reading a new case in his textbook when he exclaimed, "Clarence Thomas! He's my favorite Supreme Court Justice!"

He then looked at me and in all seriousness asked,
"Who's your favorite Supreme Court Judge?"

hahahaha
ummm... does my favorite people's court reality TV show judge count?

Sad day for Travis. He's not marrying a political science major or an ex debater.

Good thing I can cook and smile or we'd be in trouble.

2010-09-09T16:27:00.000-05:00

This morning I found a get well card that my mom had given me last year. Inside she wrote. "It is through our most difficult times that our character is forged."

What a wise woman.

Even though I was hurting so much during that time I was unknowingly becoming a better person. A stronger person.. and she knew that.

[insert response here]

2010-09-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

How a girl reacts to an engagement announcement says a lot. Seeing as I've been recently engaged I've had some first hand experience with this.

Reactions and what they say about you:

Congrats! Standard response. We're acquaintances and you wanted to be polite.

OMG I'm so happy/excited for you! Overused. They probably are sincerely happy that I'm happy. We've probably been close at one point.

What can I do to help? Your desire to help out tells me you want to share our day with us and make sure it's wonderful. You love me, my fiance, or both of us and you're a genuinely caring/giving person. You're probably already on my "favorite people" list.

Don't forget to take a minute and enjoy the moment! Their focus is on our relationship, which is what's most important. Not surprisingly this was said by my closest and wisest friends.

Can I see a picture of the ring? Sometimes girls will ask this just out of curiosity. I try not to judge anyone who asks me this. If it's the first question that's asked I question what's most important to you. Corollary: If it's a follow up question later on in the conversation I know it's not the most important thing to you.

Do you have a ring yet?/How big is your ring?/Where did you buy your ring? Yep, you're one of those girls where a ring on your finger and a fancy wedding is more important that the person you're marrying. Note: None of my close friends have asked me this yet. (That's because all of my friends are awesome. Dur.)

Just A Minute

2010-09-07T21:41:00.000-05:00

Tonight he walked me home. As we walked I realized how perfect everything feels. I wondered how I could love him anymore than I do now. He walked with me up to my apartment and as he left he did something that only he knew would make me smile. Just a few minutes later and I already find myself loving him more than before.

I hope it's like this for many years to come.

Sign of the Times

2010-08-30T22:52:00.001-05:00

From an ad posted on a gym bulletin board:

Babysitter
Ivy League educated

Excellent arts and crafts skills
Loves soccer, basketball, and other sports

TONS of experience!

Call Cybil (xxx)xxx-xxxx

Hello, I'm engaged!

2010-08-25T22:14:00.000-05:00

Whoa, I'm engaged!
It still feels weird to say that! I feel like I'm in a dream.. :)

It's only been a few days since I've been engaged but I'm already sick of wedding planning. Yep... 4 more months of this. Sweeeeet.

I'm actually surprised that some girls love the wedding planning part. It was exciting for me too! For about five minutes. That was until I realized that guess what? everything costs money. That makes things complicated. And have you ever looked for a bridesmaid dress? It sucks. Let alone trying to decide who your bridesmaids are even going to be.

I just want to be married. I cannot wait until I get to go the temple with my best friend. I cannot wait to not have to say goodnight anymore. I cannot wait to start our lives together. Together, that sounds nice. :) Those are the things I cannot wait for.

2010-08-14T23:04:00.001-05:00

Worked out.
Showered.
Shot an 9 hour wedding.
Worked out.

WORD.

2010-08-13T23:40:00.000-05:00

In the past two weeks:
I have gotten in a car accident thanks to a 16 year old.
I have dealt with incapable car insurance agents.
I have survived without a car.
I have rescheduled multiple sessions due to rain.
I have shot 2 weddings in one day.
I have gone without sleep.
I have had the 16 year old girl who hit me claim that I hit her.
I have had people critique and judge the decisions I'm making.
I have gone to the chiropractor.
I have packed all my belongings.
I have been stuck in traffic on the way to the airport.
I have gotten motion sick from plane turbulence.
I have lost my luggage with all my clothes.

Also in the past 2 weeks:
I ran 8 miles.
I spent time with my family.
I ate sushi.
I got to spend time with an old friend.
I got to make a new friend.
I sang karaoke.. and loved it.
I set up client meetings and job interviews in Chicago.
I got to go spend time in the mountains with my favorite people.
I've gotten to kiss the cutest man alive goodnight.

In the past two weeks some bad things have happened and some wonderful things have happened.
I'm happy.
A little sore,
a little tired,
a little cloth-less..
but happy. :)

Time to Clarify

2010-08-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

Clarifications:

Just because I'm not excited to have babies doesn't mean I'm not excited to be a mom. I cannot wait to be a mom and sing lullabies to my children, pack their school lunches and tuck little love notes in them, pick them up from school, put band aids on their cuts.. Those things I am excited for. I am not excited to be pregnant, to be in labor, or to lose sleep over baby cries.

Yes, I love eating healthy. No, I do not have an eating disorder. I have self control. Deal with it.

I don't like to swear. Not because I'm Mormon but simply because I think it's typically filthy and unflattering. Contradictory to that statement I think there are some moments that are just funnier when a swear word is used. (Have you seen Zombieland?)

I hate running 3 miles. I love running 6. Probably because I get my second wind around 3.2 miles. My body is weird.

I say I don't like scary movies because they scare me SO MUCH. But if I'm being honest I secretly like scary movies. I wish I could stop being scared once the movie was over though. I hate going to sleep scared out of my mind.

That's all for now.

Reading by the Pond

2010-07-28T13:29:00.000-05:00

After FHE this past Monday night we ended early so I decided to go find a place to park and read my Book of Mormon. I drove through a new neighborhood and found the cutest little park. There was a pond and no one was there expect for this guy that was fishing. It was quiet and the sun was slowly setting. It was perfect. Soon this boy finished fishing and came over by the picnic bench I was sitting at. He asked me what I was reading and I told him. Come to find out that he has friends that are Mormon. We talked about religion a little bit and then about people we knew. Although he graduated several years after me it turns out he is the younger brother of a girl I went to High School with. I haven't seen her in a long time but apparently she is getting married and is currently living in New York with her fiance.

What a great night. What a small world.

Questions

2010-07-14T15:40:00.000-05:00

I used to dread coming back home. I knew that as soon as I started running into people the questions would start flowing. The worst of all these questions was this:

"Are you dating anyone?"

There didn't seem to be a right answer. If I said yes, then I immediately set myself for another set of questions. But if I said no, I knew I could expect some response along the lines of "Oh, don't worry, you have plenty of time."

In my naivety, I thought that these questions would stop once I had been dating someone for awhile.

WRONG.

Instead I now have a new question to answer. One much, MUCH worse than "Are you dating someone?" A question that I truly have no idea how to answer. That question would be:

Are you getting married?

Other variations include: Are you engaged? When are you getting married? When do you think you'll be engaged?

Hellooooo. If I was getting married I would be engaged! And if I was engaged I would have a ring on my finger. Common sense really.

Honestly, what do these people expect me to say? "No, I'm not engaged but he's going to propose next month actually!"

It seems to me that these questions will never end. I'm sure once you get married it will be "So when are you going to have a baby?" And the list goes on and on. You know why? Because people will always be curious. Now I know why curiosity killed the cat. Because that curious cat was so d*mn annoying!!

2010-07-07T12:23:00.000-05:00

"Mankind naturally and generally love to be flatter'd: Whatever sooths our Pride, and tends to exalt our Species above the rest of the Creation, we are pleas'd with and easily believe, when ungrateful Truths shall be with the utmost Indignation rejected. "What! bring ourselves down to an Equality with the Beasts of the Field! with the meanest part of the Creation! 'Tis insufferable!" But, (to use a Piece of common Sense) our Geese are but Geese tho' we may think 'em Swans; and Truth will be Truth tho' it sometimes prove mortifying and distasteful." -the wise Benjamin Franklin

2010-07-01T03:31:00.000-05:00

It's so easy to judge. It's easy to say things like:

"They should be more optimistic."

"They shouldn't complain as much."

"It's their fault they are in that situation."

"Look who gained 10 pounds.."

These statements or similar statements are most likely true.. but you can never know what brought them to the point they are at now. Improve on yourself, and be who you want to be but avoid judging and criticizing others. (Some of our weaknesses are just more visible than others.)

Encourage,

strengthen,

lift, and

build up others.

Help them become who they need to be.

..But stop critiquing where they might be now. Some of us have progressed further than others in certain aspects of our lives. It isn't a race to the finish line.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Up & Down

2010-06-28T13:31:00.000-05:00

"I remember as a young school teacher (with a large and active class) asking my wife, Debi, 'When does life even out? Why does it always feel like a roller coaster with so many highs and lows and all in the same day? I wish life would just level out.'

Being a nurse, Debi replied, 'Brad, when you get hooked up to the heart monitor, you don't want to see a straight line. That's bad news. It's the up and down lines that let you know you are alive.'

The highs and lows let us know we are participating and not just observing, learning and not just existing. President Hinckley said, 'I know it isn't easy. It's discouraging at times, sure. Aren't you glad it isn't just fun all the time? Those vallies of discouragement make more beautiful the peaks of acheivement."-Brad Wilcox "The Continuous Atonement"

2010-06-27T19:41:00.000-05:00

Lately I've had a case of cold feet. I felt stuck, unable to move, paralyzed by fear. Just a single irrational fear that slowly crept up on me and began to consume my thoughts..

After a lot of prayer and thoughtful conversations I realized that God doesn't put fear into our hearts. I'm done feeling scared or nervous about something that has the potential to bring so much good into my life. Why should I be afraid of something so wonderful? I shouldn't be, and I won't be. Faith is taking that step into the darkness, walking into the unknown and knowing that everything will be okay. It will be okay.

Isaiah 41:10, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

I'm no longer afraid to jump into the unknown... because I know you'll be there with me.

What does happiness look like?

2010-06-08T12:05:00.000-05:00

Whoever invented tripods, thank you :)

2010-05-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wish I could print out a text and frame it. Something like that. Because really, I get some cute text messages. They make me so happy and I want to keep them forever.

that's all.

2010-05-16T01:23:00.000-05:00

indelibly

happy.

:).

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's all.

Crying.

2010-05-09T16:38:00.000-05:00

It's funny what makes me cry sometimes.

Sometimes being SO happy makes me cry.
Sometimes I cry because I feel relieved.
Sometimes I cry because I actually am sad.
Sometimes I am so tired that the tears just seem to flow.

Today I had something on my mind stressing me out. After a church meeting, the bishop talked to me and told me something that completely put me at peace. I got in my car and cried! I was just so grateful for that feeling of calm.

2010-05-08T02:39:00.001-05:00

2010-05-03T18:14:00.000-05:00

"So don't complicate it by hesitating.

And this is wonderful as loving goes,

This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?"

Sometimes I know I made the right choice when I don't feel any hesitation. :)

and if you hesitate.. maybe it's for a reason

2010-05-03T02:19:00.000-05:00

I feel an important conversation coming up. Oh my. I wish I could just have the conversation and be done.

I realize that talking about things, albeit uncomfortable, is essential. and lets face it.. either you are progressing or you're not. nothing stands still for very long.

the most romantic thing

2010-04-29T04:59:00.001-05:00

the most romantic thing is to kiss someone you adore in the rain.

somehow you can feel each and every raindrop that hits you

and at the same time

feel the warm of the person your with

all at once.

rain drips down your face

and you don't even notice..

because you are so incredibly happy.

you can't stop smiling.

(you don't even need to look to realize that he is smiling too)

then your gaze meets his

and suddenly you realize..

this is exactly where you need to be

with him.

in the rain.

Little Pieces

2010-04-28T05:26:00.000-05:00

No matter where I am, who I'm friends with, or who I'm dating I always want to be me. Although I might add a few interests to the list I don't want to give up little pieces of who I am just to fit in or please someone.

The little things I hope never change about myself:

singing in the car and shower
taking pictures
being kind no matter the situation
driving in the mountains just because
playing in the rain
my love for traveling
eating healthy

my testimony

2010-04-19T04:20:00.000-05:00

I don't have time to journal right now so I wanted to jot down a few notes so I'll remember later:
-laughing in church
-jersey
-salmon dinner
-game!
-star trek :) basically.... a wonderful wonderful day.

Brief Notes

2010-04-16T03:09:00.000-05:00

What I've been thinking about recently:

-When things fall apart they will always fall back into place. Sometimes later, not always sooner.

-Not everything will feel 'perfect' all the time. Sometimes I get the occasional thought that I'm not where I'm supposed to be, that I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing... even though I am. Thoughts of self doubt and negativity will always creep up on us. That doesn't mean that what we're doing isn't right.

-I need to work on expressing how I feel more often. Especially to those who mean the most to me. It's not that I feel uncomfortable doing so.. it's always just come so naturally to me to express my love for others through actions. I'm not afraid to say how I feel, I just need to remember.

2010-03-22T01:34:00.000-05:00

2010-03-16T01:34:00.000-05:00

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.

There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.

There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.

We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.

We have enough greed; we need more goodness.

We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.

We have enough popularity; we need more purity."

— Margaret Nadauld

tender.

kind.

refined.

faithful.

goodness.

virtuous.

pure.

I hope that these words describe the person I am.. the person I am becoming.

My life is a work in progress.

Someday I'll be the woman I am meant to be.

2010-03-15T03:15:00.001-05:00

oh so

2010-02-27T12:39:00.000-06:00

happy.

I love having a hard time sleeping because I'm replaying every detail of the day in my head.
I love waking up in the mornings with a smile on my face.
I love the fact that I can't stop smiling.

It's been such a long since I've been this incredibly happy.

A Glimpse at My Future Husband

2010-02-26T15:21:00.000-06:00

This morning while doing yoga I decided that I am going to marry someone who practices yoga. (Hopefully he enjoys it as well.)

This was my thought process: I imagine myself being married and getting into a disagreement. Instead of letting an argument elevate we pause and take some time to do yoga (together or separately). We come back to the discussion with a clear head and a calm heart. What could be better than that?

Today I realized that..

2010-02-25T20:45:00.000-06:00

..taking time to notice the world around us makes a difference. There is always beauty in our lives if we take a moment and recognize it. Every day can be a great day if we just let it!

"Look for miracles in everyday life."

-from my friend's mom.

8 Things Revisited

2010-02-25T00:15:00.000-06:00

A long time ago I filled this out. I wanted to fill this out again just to see how I've changed. To see the old one click here.

8 Things I Am Passionate About (In no particular order)

1. Living life to the fullest /Improving Myself

2. Eating Right

3. Exercising/p90x/yoga

4. Photography/Art

5. Traveling

6. Music

7. The Gospel

8. My Family

8 Books I Have Read And Enjoyed

1. My Sister's Keeper

2. Captivating

3. No One Can Take Your Place

4. The Bible/BOM

5. The Secret Life of Bees

6. The Fountainhead

7. Angels and Demons

8. Tuesdays with Morrie

8 Words/Phrases I Say Often

1. by the way..

2. What?!

3. Perfect

4. Oh my

5. I understand

6. Really?

7. True story

8. fact

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Live Abroad

2. Graduate from college

3. Go on a mission

4. Run a marathon

5. Backpack through Europe

6. Hike in Peru

7. Get married

8. Be a mom

8 Things I Learned This Past Year

1. Time heals all wounds.

2. Exercising every day makes a huge difference.

3. True friends are hard to find.

4. Trust your instincts.

5. Heavenly Father's plans are always better than mine.

6. You choose whether or not you want to be happy.

7. Heavenly Father blesses me far more than I deserve.

8. Don't ever give up on yourself. Sticking to your goals is so rewarding.

stillness.

2010-02-23T15:06:00.000-06:00

Heavenly Father is the one constant thing in my life.

Even if I'm not.

Always there, always knowing, always ready, always loving.

Be still, and know that I am God

(Psalm 46:10)

sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

2010-02-22T14:59:00.000-06:00

Right now I feel so perplexed.

How can something feel so right, so perfect but somehow feel wrong at the same time?

How can I be so happy but still feel guilty?

How can two radically different emotions take place in my heart at the same time?

Every time I take a step forward I feel myself being pulled back.

I wish I could explain why I feel this way but I can't.

It's just a reoccurring thought that keeps coming and coming.

I try to push it aside but it still lingers.

Ultimately, I alone will decide my future.

Will I choose the correct path?

I find myself concerned with simple decisions because I know that it is the little decisions that shape our lives, my life.

I obviously think too much.

Enough of that. I love this song and image:

Can I just say how much better I feel after typing/writing things out?

sigh of relief.

On Being Scared

2010-02-18T13:45:00.000-06:00

I've already written about this in my normal journal but for some reason this topic is still on my mind. Sometimes I find myself scared. Scared that something might not work out, that plans will change, that people will change. Being scared is normal.. but I don't think it should stop us from living. I would argue that the times I have grown the most are the times where I've done something that scared me.

Recently I started rock climbing again. The first run I did scared me. It really did. I was afraid of falling, afraid of the height, and afraid of looking silly. Once I finished that first run, part of me wanted to never do that again. However, I decided to just go up and try again. The second run went a lot better and I actually had fun. I enjoy rock climbing now but if I had stopped after that first run I would have never known this. This is just an example, but how many times do we stop at the first sign of fear? How many times do we let our insecurities determine what we do or don't do?

If I always stopped when I was afraid I would not be where I am today. I would not enjoy the friendships I have, I wouldn't have developed some of the talents I posses, and I wouldn't be nearly as confident as I am now.

If you find yourself scared to do something I hope you find the courage to do it anyway. With faith in yourself and in Heavenly Father, you can do anything.

"If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances." -Julia Soul

:)

2010-02-16T02:17:00.000-06:00

I've just seen a face,

I can't forget the time or place

That we'd just met, he's just the boy for me

And I want all the world to see we've met

Had it been another day

I might have looked the other way

But I had never been aware

And as it is I dream of him tonight

Falling, yes I am falling

And he keeps calling me back again

I have never known

The likes of this, I've been alone

And I have missed things and kept out of sight

But other boys were n.e.v.e.r quite like this

Falling, yes I am falling

Just Live

2009-11-13T09:54:00.000-06:00

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." -Groucho Marx

I love this quote. Our attitude shapes our minutes, days, and ultimately our lives. We have complete control over our attitudes but I find that exercising, eating healthy, and doing things I love to do help my attitude increase. There is so much to be thankful and happy about. Decide today that you will stop worrying and start living!

2009-10-22T02:14:00.000-05:00

Inspiration

2009-10-20T13:54:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been feeling inspired and I can't exactly pin point why. I read what inspires others but I have always felt that my inspiration is completely random. Yes, some days nature does inspire me. But everyday of the week? Probably not.

Right now I think that LIFE is what is inspiring me. The simple fact that I am alive and breathing. Life is a miracle and so are our bodies. Over the past few years I have been AMAZED at how our bodies can heal themselves and even after very very low points physically they can transform and become healthy and working again. Just 3 weeks ago I had the most major surgery I've had so far. It hurt far more than I could have ever imagined. Just only 3 weeks later I am in awe of the progress my body has made. The first two weeks I was constantly thinking, "How will I EVER make it through this. This is too much." I wanted to give everything up. Thankfully time really does heal all things and before I knew it I am feeling more and more like myself each day. My body, this life, all graciously given to me by my Heavenly Father is currently what is inspiring me to LIVE, and be me.

Unorganized Thoughts

2009-10-18T15:57:00.000-05:00

random thought:
I am constantly amazed at how BEAUTIFUL the world is... even though all I ever hear is how our earth is dying. It really is just beautiful. Especially in the fall. I really should be writing in a journal but I know my hands wouldn't be able to keep up with my thoughts right now.

aaaaah :D :D

2009-02-23T19:38:00.000-06:00

So I just booked my first wedding. Like 5 minutes ago. It still weird to think that people like MY photography. I am always my own worst critic and I never think I am really that talented.. but what a compliment that someone would want me to document the most wonderful day of the life!
I feel so blessed.

where in the world..

2008-12-17T21:33:00.000-06:00

I've been posting much more on my photography blog lately
Soo if you've been wondering why I've been MIA--that's why!
Feel free to check it out if you're wondering what I've been up to.

Thanks,
Tiffany

a few things I love

2008-12-07T19:35:00.000-06:00

A couple friends of mine have recently posted what beauty products they just love. Everyone has their own routine so I figure I'd share mine too.

#1 Paul Mitchell Skinny Serum
If your trying to get your hair really straight it will help but that's not why I use it. The reason I just love this is because it cuts drying time in half. I have such thick hair-it takes 2 hours just to air dry, and about half an hour to blow dry. It's such a time saver. It's just one pump in your hands and lasts forever. It also makes your hair soft and your hands too!

#2 Redken Extreme Anti-Snap Leave In Treatment
After I got sick I lost a lot of hair and my hair was dry, brittle, and very hard to work with. This saved my hair! Seriously. You add it once your hair is damp.. and I usually leave it in my wet hair overnight.

#3 Redken All Soft Heavy Cream
This is also amazing :) Basically I really recommend any Redken product in general.

#4 Aveeno Skin Brightening Daily Scrub
Very gentle and perfect for sensitive skin. I used to use Olay but since switching I don't break out as often

Also, Aveeno lotion will leave your skin so soft and smooth.

#5 Suave Hairspray
I don't really see any reason to spend more money on hairspray when they hold your curls the same either way. Sometimes I spray it on and brush it through my hair for extra shine.

#6 Rembrandt White Strips
These strips get your teeth white as snow in just 3 days. And they just came out with a 2 hour kit! A lot quicker than Crest which you have to use for a month!

#7 Bare Minerals
I used to wear foundation whenever I broke out.. but then I would just break out even more.. and then it would never go away! Foundation is just the devil. Bare minerals is the best makeup out there today. It's a powder foundation that won't clog your pores. You can put it on light, or reapply as many times as needed for more coverage. It's really natural looking and natural-not a lot of chemicals that you see in a lot similar lines. AND it has sunscreen!

happy thanksgiving

2008-11-28T08:27:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving!

I haven't had time to edit but I wanted to let you know that I had been wanted to try these cupcake/mini-pies for awhile! They turned out AMAZING! I would highly recommend them! (Be warned that if you're on a diet this is not for you- they have a lot of butter and I promise you won't be able to eat just one) The link posted below. He suggests making this frosting and it is worth the few extra minutes to make it!

If you are into following blogs I would also add this to the list!

http://www.cupcakeproject.com/2008/03/pumpkin-cup-pies-mini-pumpkin-pies-for.html

music to my ears

2008-11-26T21:55:00.000-06:00

Lately I've been getting into more music just because the music on the radio can be obnoxious and over played. I feel like most songs just repeat one word over and over or they like to spell out words.. ugh! enough!

I really love a lot of the new indie/folk music coming out :) It's just a nice break from mainstream.
Take a peek at this song & video below- -I love it!

enjoy:)
love, me

another birthday

2008-11-22T14:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my dad's birthday! I forget how old he turned.. I think it's my age +22.
We had a lunch at a Mexican place in town and they did a good job at embarrassing him! They made him wear a sombrero and sang. But it was okay because he had a plate of sopapias and ice cream.. mm! Happy Birthday Dad!

This picture was taken on my cell phone:

my little best friend

2008-11-08T20:22:00.000-06:00

Our family got our little dog almost 2 years ago. His birthday was sometime this month.. so I thought I would post in honor of him :) Me and my brothers and sisters had been wanting a dog f o r e v e r. We had one when we were living in Texas but he wasn't very nice so we had to give him away. We received this dog as a gift from a family friend! We are so lucky! It took us awhile to name him but we decided to call him Bruiser. (Yes from Legally Blonde. They share a little resemblance. lol.) He is half terrier and half pomeranian. He has white fur paws and a little white fluffy patch of fur that I just love. If you have ever seen him he has the funniest personality. We all joke that he is half cat sometimes.

I love how he will sleep with me at night and curl up in a ball on my bed. He loves sleeping on my bed because he can look out my window and see the cars and who is coming home! In the picture below I caught him one afternoon just after I got home from work.. he was just taking a little nap on my bed. He stayed still for a few minutes while he let me take his picture. He is just the cutest! I could go on and on about the cute things he does (like when he sings along to piano playing) but I think this is good for one day.
Happy 2nd Birthday Bruiser!

exciting news!

2008-10-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I entered my first photo contest! The contest was this: "send us a photograph of a gas station sign with the prices in your area."

I was kind of skeptical and wasn't even going to enter but Saturday afternoon we were at a gas station so I decided to take a picture! I had the photo edited and ready by Sunday night(which was also the deadline!) I wasn't feeling too confident since a lot of professional photographers enter and there are several hundred entries every contest. I had actually forgotten about it when I got a call from the photographer I'm interning with and she told me that she was looking at the site and that I won! I couldn't even believe it! I went home to check and it was true- my last minute photo had won. I'm probably more excited about the fact that I won than the actual prizes that come with it. lol

Here is the winning photo :)